raw with love

 little dark girl with
kind eyes
when it comes time to use the knife 

i won't flinch and i won't blame you.
as i drive along the shore alone...
as the palms wave,
the ugly heavy palms,
as the living does not arrive
as the dead do not leave, 

i won't blame you.
instead

i will remember the kisses...
our lips raw with love,
and how you gave me everything you had
and how i offered you what was left of me.
and i will remember your small room
the feel of you
the light in the window
your records
your books
our morning coffee
our noons our nights
our bodies spilled together
sleeping
the tiny flowing currents
immediate and forever
your leg my leg
your arm my arm
your smile and the warmth of you
who made me laugh
again. 

little dark girl with kind eyes
you have no knife.

the knife is mine and i won't use it yet.

 — charles bukowski